A month ago, I mentioned that my wife and I were
expecting our second child. I am pleased to
announce the my daughter arrived last Tuesday -
November 8th! She weighed 9.0lbs and was 21 inches
long. She and my wife are doing wonderfully and my
son and I are thrilled!
This week, I was reading the latest book from one
of my favorite authors, Eckhart Tolle. The book is
titled "A New Earth - Awakening to Your Life's
Purpose" and I came across a section where he
discusses whether parenthood is a function or a
role.
He writes: "The majority of adults, at some
point in their lives, find themselves being a
parent, one of the most universal roles. The
all-important question is: Are you able to fulfill
the function of being a parent and fulfill it well,
without identifying with that function, that is,
without it becoming a role?"
His thoughts on the subject of fulfilling
a function versus playing a role are quite
interesting and can be expanded beyond the realm of
parenting. Re-read the last sentence in the above
quote and substitute your job title for the word
parent. Then substitute the word "spouse". I'm
sure you'll see other possible parallels.
For instance - "Are you able to fulfill the
function of being a doctor or sales person or
wife or husband and fulfill it well, without
identifying with that function, that is, without it
becoming a role?"
Tolle goes on to write that "When being a
parent (or doctor or sales person or wife or
husband - my addition) becomes an
identity, when your sense of self is entirely or
largely derived from it, the function easily becomes
overemphasized, exaggerated and takes you
over."
If this sounds like you - let me ask you this
question - If you identify your role in life by
virtue of a function that you perform, who will you
be if you stop performing that function? If you ARE
your job - who will you be if you lose that job? If
you ARE a parent, who will you be when your children
grow up and no longer need parenting? If you ARE a
spouse - who will you be if the relationship
changes? We must always be careful to hang on to our
sense of self.
As I look at my new little daughter, I am filled
with a million emotions. Joy, excitement, wonder,
even fear and nervousness. But I am careful to
remain conscious of the fact that she, and her
brother will one day grow up to be their own people
and although "Dad" will always be part of my
unofficial title - I only have the privilege of
truly filling that function for a few relatively
short years.
ENJOY NOW!
